Rewiring my brain to stop complaining
Disrupting my normal patterns.
Last week, I realized something about myself that I have to stop doing immediately.
I was just finishing dinner with my girlfriend, telling her about my day, when she stopped me and said:
"You know, it sounds like I'm living with an old grumpy grandpa. Only seeing the negative things that happened today."
I laughed a bit, because I realized how true it was. I had by no means had a bad day, but I couldn't help just recounting the parts that had annoyed me.
I've heard too many times from people close to me that I complain. A lot.
Rather than seeing experiences from a positive light, my default state is registering what makes me uncomfortable, sad, or irritated. Over time, I realize this has brought down my mood in general.
It has even shaped how I see new experiences. When assessing whether or not to pursue a new opportunity, I am heavily biased towards highlighting the potential negative outcomes rather than the positive ones.
Something has to change. I want to try rewiring my brain, and my plan is simple:
Each time I catch myself complaining about something, I need to come up with something positive related to the same experience.
That's it.
Here are some complaints I've turned into positives (in italics) since last week:
1.
Went swimming laps but the pool was crowded. I hate swimming in the afternoon when it starts getting full, it sucks! — How lucky am I that I can leave my job in the middle of the afternoon to go swimming? Even if the pool was a bit crowded, I got a workout in and had 30 minutes to just relax in the sauna afterwards. Felt so nice!
2.
My work feels unfulfilling right now. Working with clients is so annoying, they have so many requests all the time, ugh! — Isn't it amazing how I can run my own business and do pretty much whatever I want? Sure, some clients will be more difficult to work with than others, but that's ok. People are literally paying me to do things I like and am good at. I have lots of freedom, and work whenever I want. It beats probably 99% of jobs out there.
3.
This goddamn pollen is making me crazy, I can barely go outside! I hate summer! — Ok Alex, wait a second. Pollen is truly annoying for sure, but is it really that bad? Focus on the amazing weather. You're taking a walk in a beautiful park, listening to your favorite podcast. An itchy nose and some sneezing isn't so bad.
This simple rule of just turning a negative thought into something positive might seem a bit silly, but it has helped me stop that instinctive spiraling into bad energy. It disrupts my normal pattern of just letting myself become annoyed or angry at things that are really just minor inconveniences.
It will probably take a while to repair my brain completely (if that's even possible), but this little game has made me appreciate my everyday life and the things that happen a bit more.
What is something that annoyed you that you've complained about recently? Is there a way you can turn that experience positive somehow?
I was just finishing dinner with my girlfriend, telling her about my day, when she stopped me and said:
"You know, it sounds like I'm living with an old grumpy grandpa. Only seeing the negative things that happened today."
I laughed a bit, because I realized how true it was. I had by no means had a bad day, but I couldn't help just recounting the parts that had annoyed me.
I've heard too many times from people close to me that I complain. A lot.
Rather than seeing experiences from a positive light, my default state is registering what makes me uncomfortable, sad, or irritated. Over time, I realize this has brought down my mood in general.
It has even shaped how I see new experiences. When assessing whether or not to pursue a new opportunity, I am heavily biased towards highlighting the potential negative outcomes rather than the positive ones.
Something has to change. I want to try rewiring my brain, and my plan is simple:
Each time I catch myself complaining about something, I need to come up with something positive related to the same experience.
That's it.
Here are some complaints I've turned into positives (in italics) since last week:
1.
Went swimming laps but the pool was crowded. I hate swimming in the afternoon when it starts getting full, it sucks! — How lucky am I that I can leave my job in the middle of the afternoon to go swimming? Even if the pool was a bit crowded, I got a workout in and had 30 minutes to just relax in the sauna afterwards. Felt so nice!
2.
My work feels unfulfilling right now. Working with clients is so annoying, they have so many requests all the time, ugh! — Isn't it amazing how I can run my own business and do pretty much whatever I want? Sure, some clients will be more difficult to work with than others, but that's ok. People are literally paying me to do things I like and am good at. I have lots of freedom, and work whenever I want. It beats probably 99% of jobs out there.
3.
This goddamn pollen is making me crazy, I can barely go outside! I hate summer! — Ok Alex, wait a second. Pollen is truly annoying for sure, but is it really that bad? Focus on the amazing weather. You're taking a walk in a beautiful park, listening to your favorite podcast. An itchy nose and some sneezing isn't so bad.
This simple rule of just turning a negative thought into something positive might seem a bit silly, but it has helped me stop that instinctive spiraling into bad energy. It disrupts my normal pattern of just letting myself become annoyed or angry at things that are really just minor inconveniences.
It will probably take a while to repair my brain completely (if that's even possible), but this little game has made me appreciate my everyday life and the things that happen a bit more.
What is something that annoyed you that you've complained about recently? Is there a way you can turn that experience positive somehow?
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